Happy 30th!

So I just turned 30 last Monday.

What I had in mind when I was younger is that when you reach 30 it will be the the time when you already got your dream job, or maybe running a business that involves something you really love, or have a family of your own with kids living in a decent home.

Tadah! I am so far different from what I have thought then. Haha!

Basically, I am just so lost right now. I am unemployed for a year and what keeps me busy is my being a nanny to my 10 year old niece. In my free time, I read books and watch movies and US TV series. How productive. :p

I applied for a call center representative post last Monday (yeah my birthday) and luckily after 11 hours of waiting in the office, I got the job and was immediately handed a contract.  At first I was so happy because it's my first time to apply after a year and I immediately got hired. But when I was on my way home I felt like I wasn't really satisfied with it. I'm not talking about the salary because it was indeed good offer especially the benefits, but I'm talking about the job itself. Was it really the nature of job that I really want?  I was supposed to start working the following month so before I could submit all the requirements  I decided to just inform them of my decision. The next day, I called the company and declined the job offer.

I must say it was the best birthday gift but I weighed it and really thought the job wasn't for me.

So what now? Well, I don't really know what's in store for me this year. I just wish myself to meet more positive people in my life who will inspire me to do great in life. Great in a way that I will be able touch people's lives in my own little ways. And hopefully, a job that I truly want to do. 

Thank you, God for my 30 years of existence, for the gift of family and friends. And for the blessing I got today. 

Bittersweet

I know that in my previous post I told myself that I'm breaking the fall. *sigh*

We met 3 times.

The first two meetings were ok, funny actually. We're like crazy kids who were lost. Or maybe we were just both shy that we can't really say what we wanted to say to each other.

Yesterday's a bittersweet one. I don't know exactly what happened but after we parted our ways I really did feel something. I felt like I'm a teener who's in a state of cloud nine, heart beating so fast it's as if it's going to explode anytime. When i tried closing my eyes it's only your face that i see. And all i could hear are the sweet words you said about me.

But at the same time, I also felt like you left a hole in my heart...

then suddenly I remembered what I told you: I said that it was going to be the last time that I'm gonna talk to you. You disagreed and told me that we're not doing anything bad. *sigh* We both like each other and that alone is a bad thing already.

I haven't felt this kind of happiness in quite a while. It may be the end but I'm still glad it happened. No regrets. Btw, thank you for the hot chocolate. :)

xx

What makes a book 'good'?

Most of what makes a book 'good' is that we're reading it at the right moment for us. -Alain de Botton

Breaking this fall

Dear you,

I like you because you are funny and you send me funny photos. I like you because you listen to my senseless stories. I like you because you answer my emojis with emojis. I like you because, like me, you also listen to RHCP. I like you because you don't take advantage on people and you respect me. I like you because you've been consistent for the past years. Most importantly, I like you because you make me feel like I am special.

We've met. We've talked. But we've never really "hanged out". So I am not really sure where this is going.

What makes our "relationship" complicated is that you are "in a relationship". You see, I don't like cheaters. I hate them! I believe that if someone is not happy in a relationship they are in, he/she should just walk away. Cheating is not a solution. I am not saying we're doing anything bad because technically there's nothing wrong with just talking. I just fear that what we're doing right now will lead to something that's totally unacceptable.

I knew you we're in a relationship back then and I tried myself not to fall for you, but it's hard not to when there's still communication between us. It's not like we're ordinary friends anymore. It's my fault for falling that's why I am "breaking this fall" already. I need to slowly cut my ties with you. It would be hard for me but this is the right thing to do.

I don't want to risk asking you to choose me over her because I still don't know exactly what is this I'm  feeling since we didn't had the time to really get to know each other.

Maybe it will pass. Maybe it won't.

xx

Hooold it!

"If there is one thing about LOVE that I learned - hold it until you have traveled the world. Don't limit yourself to an island." - Joyce A Ramirez (@PublictyAsia)

Of buses and trains

Hey Mom, why didn't you tell me?
Why didn't you teach me a thing or two?
You just let me go, out into the world,
You never thought to share what you knew.

(Chorus):
So I walked under a bus,
I got hit by a train,
Keep fallin' in love,
Which is kind of the same,
I've sunk out at sea, crashed my car, gone insane,
And it felt so good, I wanna do it again.

Hey Mom, why didn't you warn me?
'Cause about boys there's something I should have known,
They're like chocolate cake, like cigarettes,
I know they're bad for me but I just can't leave 'em alone.

(Repeat Chorus)

Hey Mom, since we're talkin',
What was it like when you were young?
Has the world changed or is still the same?
A man can kill and still be the sweetest fun.

My cooking style

I laughed so hard when a friend sent me this picture. This is SO ME! Haha.

I started cooking meals at home early this year after I stopped working. I love cooking especially those that I love to eat. Haha.

Marunong akong magluto pero takot ako sa tumatalsik na mantika. Horror! Fried pork chop is one of the easiest dish to prepare but it's also a hassle when it comes to cooking. Bongga ang talsik ng mantika especially pag malapit na maluto. Not just with pork but also with fish. All things fried actually. So ang ginagawa ko, naghahanap ako ng pinakamalaking takip ng kaldero at ginagawa kong shield. Nakakatawa pala yung itsura. Haha!